Detoxing Christmas

The images are all around us: silver bells, falling snowflakes, children snuggly bundled on gliding sleds, stockings hung by the chimney with care, mistletoe and holly, twinkling lights on fresh evergreen branches, and colorful packages calling to curious hands. The sights, sounds, and smells are familiar to many, and they often evoke warm feelings of happy memories and expectations of future shared joys. Perhaps these are the elements that truly make the Christmas season special.

Perhaps these are the elements that also make the Christmas season miserable—that is, the Christmas season we have come to know and expect. More gifts to buy and wrap, unending cookies to bake, parties to attend, meals to prepare, children’s musicals at which to cheer, and holiday traffic to navigate. The dread of endless holiday realities can put a damper on the underlying joy embedded in the very nature of the season itself. Tainted images of reality and lofty expectations put undue pressure on families trying to produce the ideal American Christmas.

Empty Packages
If priorities are askew and the temptation to keep up with the Holiday Joneses is entertained, stress, exhaustion, and disappointment may be the surprise packages that are unwrapped at the end of the day, leaving many with a “bah humbug” sentiment that they dare not utter aloud. But whether verbally uttered or not, the sentiment is the same and it will affect your mood, how you interact with those around you, and the attitude with which you approach the sacred holiday (or holy day). As frazzled people tend to frazzle those around them, there is a trickle-down effect that can lead to frustration for many others in the family, church, or workplace. Women, as much of the festive planning often falls to you, holiday blues and fatigue are especially close to home. Dear ones, Jesus has comforting words for you.

Conversely, there are those who find themselves with little to do during the Christmas season, as friends and family may be far away. Those whose loved ones have passed and those who cannot travel, many of them senior citizens, often feel a different sentiment with regard to Christmas. Intense longing for days gone by coupled with reminders of happy gatherings in other households brings unanswered emptiness, loneliness, and sadness. Dear ones, Jesus has comforting words for you.

I will admit that I have had some disappointing holidays, both as a child and as an adult. I have also had some especially memorable Christmases, and they generally had nothing to do with money or extravagance. The disappointment came with feeling I had too much to do in too short a time and for no real purpose. The disappointing experiences involved circumstances that were too stressful, too unrewarding, or produced little meaning for the amount of effort involved. On the other hand, the meaningful memories made in quiet and unhurried times were often spontaneous, and generally involved intimate and meaningful moments with family and friends. This kind of extravagance cannot be purchased. It definitely cannot come on the heels of people so busy, angry, or empty that they cannot see the reason for the season.

The Root of the Problem
Friends, I think we are addicted to our expectations and ourselves. We are addicted to hype and a lie that says in order to have a proper holiday, it must come wrapped in a package with a department store bow. In many regards, we are addicted to the chaos that distracts us from the very meaning of Christmas—Christ Himself. The addiction is toxic—poison for the soul. It separates us from the One who cared for us enough to clothe Himself in humanity and be with us for the sake of Love. Dear ones, Jesus has comforting words for us.

The Million-Dollar Question
I want to ask a question. And I am sincere in the asking because I am re-evaluating the way my family “does Christmas” too. Even that phrase seems wrong, but I hope you get the point. My question is this: What separates us as Christians from the way non-Christians celebrate? Do we merely insert a scriptural reading about Jesus’ birth in between melodic odes to the Christmas tree during our party? Do we justify elaborate gifts claiming to follow the tradition of the wise men with their gold, frankincense, and myrrh? Maybe they can detect our loyalties by the Jesus pin we strap to our sequined party dress. While the rest of the world worships Christmas, can anyone tell we are worshiping Christ?

How Shall They Know Us?
Do Christians really stand out from the world? We should. Do we differ in how and why we celebrate? Ultimately, yes. But how can people tell? What does that look like? Perhaps they will know us by the way we relate to other people in our world—the kind, purposeful and thoughtful way we interact with each other. Consider John 13:34, 35: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples. If you love one another” (NIV). How do we show love as we worship God? As God came to us in human form, we can come to others also—to actively share love with them as we have received love.

The Christmas season profoundly reminds us of God’s love for us; He came to meet us where we are. His comforting message is found in His very name. It is Immanuel. It means “God with us.” It is literal. He is the Word who became flesh and dwelt among us (John 1:14). He came that we might have abundant life (John 10:10). Born in a stable for animals and with a feeding trough for His bed, His context was humility rather than extravagance. I doubt if there was mistletoe or holly to champion His arrival. No, His was a coming without earthly fanfare, but the importance of the mission spoke for itself. He was birthed that we might experience rebirth—life anew. Seeking to unify man to God his Creator, His purpose was restoration of relationship.

Christ’s love extends to us, but it doesn’t stop there. We find that we are also reconciled to ourselves and to others as we live out the love He prescribed. That’s how they know us. His love sends this message, “When the rest of the world is frazzled and distracted, keep your eyes on Me, rest in My peace, distribute My love.” We can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that Christ’s emphasis is on being rather than doing, and on authentic relationship that is not dependent upon social or cultural etiquette (Luke 10:38-42).

The Evidence of Love
What does love in action look like? It could be that His love is more evident when we choose to greet the clerk with a kind smile rather than scowls and complaints because the lines are too long in the grocery store during the holiday rush. It could be love for fellow man that motivates us to cheerfully let the other driver come into our lane rather than respond with angry words under our breath. It could be the love that motivates us to teach our children living lessons about the true meaning of Christmas rather than let them buy into the default of materialistic greed assigned by contemporary American tradition. It could be love that motivates us to use our “gift money” to make a difference in the life of one who sees no reason to celebrate. It could be love that motivates us to use time spent in unnecessary busy work to instead benefit the poor, needy, and cast-down. One more Christmas play . . . or a trip to the nursing home to share cookies and sing hymns? One more party . . . or a volunteer evening at a soup kitchen? What would most move the heart of God as we “celebrate in His name?”

For the one who is alone, He promises His presence. As Christians, we can do the same. Shared presence is one of the most powerful tools we have to communicate love. Notice, I did not say “shared presents.” These are not things we purchase and wrap, but things He purchased with His life and wrapped with His pierced hands. If we can relax in His presence, exhibit love the way He loves, and follow in the manner He leads, the truth of grace will banish the lie of bondage, and the Antidote for the poison of toxic addiction will overcome those things that promise false hope. For the practical side, there are a few things that might help to cut the chaos out of the Christmas season. The primary message is simplify. Decide what most helps you and your family reflect upon Christ and His birth, and purposefully choose those actions that are congruent with your beliefs.

Gifts
*Be mindful with selections and limit gift-giving. Ask yourself why you are giving and what message you are communicating. What kinds of things will reflect the character of God? In giving gifts, many families opt for presents they have made for each other, or focus more on time and activities spent together rather than waste time and money accumulating more stuff that ends up in the back of the closet. Giving of yourself through homemade gift certificates (for a shoulder massage, trip to the park, a babysitter for the night, etc.) is also a thoughtful and inexpensive alternative. Bottom line—don’t get wrapped up in gifts. Christmas is not about giving and getting presents.
*Budget and plan ahead. Do not go into debt for Christmas gifts. This includes using credit cards. Money is not the measure of a gift. Your heart is reflected in those things you hold most dear (Matthew 6:20-21).

Time
*Plan ahead. Be selective about what is important to you. It is likely that you will WANT to do more than you actually can do. Sanity is important; make your selections accordingly. You cannot be in all places attending all events in a short period of time.
*Delegate. Perhaps the others in your group don’t know how overwhelmed you feel or that you need help. Others may be looking for ways to help but don’t know what to do to pitch in. Recruit volunteers.

Personal/Family Wellness
*Stick with normal, daily routines that can be too easily pushed aside during busy seasons of life (family meals, praying with kids, devotionals or quiet time).
*Use wisdom with holiday food consumption. Overeating can take a toll on the health of the mind and body.

Relationships
*Spend time with supportive, caring people. If possible, invite others to join you who may have no close social network of their own.
*If you are estranged from a family member or friend, consider if this Christmas is the right time to extend love through restoration of relationship.

Tradition
*Try something new. It sounds contradictory, but every tradition has to start somewhere. Make experiences meaningful, change expectations if needed, and invest in truly memorable encounters that will yield ongoing returns.
*Love one another. Go beyond lip-service to the Christian tradition and continue to demonstrate true love. Provide opportunities for children to do the same. Teach children why this season is special, and embody it all year long—it is the basis of the Christian faith.

This Christmas, resist the pressure to make it bigger, better, and shiner. Opt for simplicity and a spirit that no one can mistake for the real thing. Give lasting gifts; give them a heritage that cannot be stolen, that cannot rot, that cannot break, that cannot be outgrown, that is not a false representation of the real, and that cannot bankrupt the soul. Instill traditions and values that reflect the heart of God. Among our traditions are these: loving others, sacrifice, obedience, helping those in need, sharing life together. We need no justification for spending time together and loving on each other.

Jesus said, “I am come that you might have life and have it more abundantly.” Consider the implications of this for your life, your family. Consider the actual differences you will see. This gift is our hope to unwrap this season. Let love be the antidote to toxic addition. Worship the Christ of Christmas, and they will know whom you serve.

By Dr. Angela Reid