Harvest Impact: What Do We Tell Our Kids?

By Wayman Ming Jr.
A few years ago my sons and I were catching up on the sports highlights when ESPN shared the breaking news that Kobe Bryant, the star basketball player for the Los Angeles Lakers, was facing pending charges for sexual assault. Of course my sons began asking, “How come Kobe was arrested? Why is he in trouble?” And perhaps the more difficult question, “What did he do?” At that specific moment I was confronted by the question, “What do I tell my kids?”

The world we live in today is different than it was a generation ago. Today, music groups shout obscenities in crowded concert halls, pornography is shown in movie halls, condoms are distributed in high school halls, and nuclear holocaust is discussed in congressional halls. It’s a perilous time.

Today, we can turn our televisions on at just about any time of day and select from a menu of programs sensationalizing all kinds of distorted perceptions of marriage and family. From such messages as “sex outside of marriage is just fine” or “it’s okay to be gay,” our children are being inundated with non-biblical values. So how is it possible to confront these challenges?

Keep the Lines of Communication Open
One of the greatest needs of our children is for us to establish an atmosphere of open communication—so our kids can talk to us about ANYTHING, ANYTIME! If we somehow communicate the idea that “we’ll talk about it later,” or “we’ll talk about it when your dad or mom gets home” and then it’s forgotten, we communicate the wrong message.

The message we end up sending our kids is that the lines of communication are closed, and in the final analysis we allow them to decipher what they’re hearing through the grid of our culture and come up with their own values system and moral code of do’s and don’ts.

When my sons asked their questions concerning Kobe Bryant, I was afforded an opportunity to teach them the godly value of honoring women and the importance of living as a biblical role model to others.

Use Your Children’s Questions To Instill Core Values
Our children are a continuous classroom of learning. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, we are teaching our children daily concerning beliefs, values, attitudes and actions. Consequently, the question that bears asking is, “What are we teaching them?” Are we teaching them about the greatness of God? Are we teaching them about the importance of marriage and family? Are we teaching them that they can make a difference in the world?

Looking for “teaching moments” becomes an excellent way to instill spiritual values in their lives, such as keeping your marriage commitment to your spouse or forgiving someone who has hurt you.

Teach the Purpose of Marriage and Family
In Genesis 1:27 we read, “So God created man in his own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them” (NKJV).

According to Genesis 1:27, the mark of God is upon each of us. Everywhere we go—driving down the street, boarding an airplane, walking in the mall—someone should be able to say, “Look; there is the image of God.” In the next verse the Bible says, “Then God blessed them, and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply’” (Genesis 1:28, NKJV).

Think about it! Having children was to be a blessing, and those children would become the reflected image of God! The very reason God created marriage and family was to reflect Himself! What a powerful thing to tell our kids—that everywhere they go, they are reflecting the image of God.

So . . . WHAT DO WE TELL OUR KIDS? That God is loving and gracious! That God created marriage as a special relationship between a man and woman! That our children have the wonderful opportunity to spread His image across the earth! And that, because of it, they can make a difference in this world!

The great theologian Sydney Bristow, from the television series Alias, made the following statement: “Vaughn, I didn’t need rational answers from you; I needed faith.” That’s what many of our children need today. They don’t need all of our answers to life; they simply need us to have a little bit of faith in them.

In an age where sports heroes like Kobe Bryant and others are disappointing them, they need some moms and dads and uncles and aunts to come along side of them and believe in them—to keep the lines of communication open, instill core values in them, and teach them the purpose of marriage and family.